shoulda been a geologist

I had an ultrasound a week ago today to check for gallstones.  I've been having pain under my last ribs on the right side for nearly a year and Dr. Google suggested it might be gallstone-related.  The technicians aren't allowed to share their conclusions on ultrasound pictures, so I've been patiently waiting for my doctor to get around to reviewing them and contacting me.  The clinic is very technological and the tech assured me that the doctor would receive the results that morning.  So, seven days later, I'm feeling really neglected.  At first I was understanding and patient -- after all, she has a lot more patients than just little old me, and besides, my symptoms had subsided (which probably means I passed a gallstone?).  After a few days I was a little miffed.  By today I'm fed up and thinking she obviously doesn't give a shit about me...especially because she hasn't followed up with me on the hives I've had for over a month now with no trigger identified.  I swear I'm not a hypochondriac and I haven't had any medical issues since she became my primary doc, at least three years ago, so it's not like I'm crying wolf here.  So I got fed up and changed to a new doc...which might be the only benefit of the managed health care system my insurance uses.  In the meantime, she's ignoring me, her usually-healthy-but-currently-very-itchy-and-in-pain patient.

I suspect the hives are due to a soy allergy, so I'm treating myself with a soy elimination diet.  Did you know that soy is in FUCKING EVERYTHING?!  Soy lecithin is an emulsifier added to pretty much everything that comes in a box or a bag, in addition to pretty much all sources of chocolate, baked goods, cereal, peanut butter, cheese, and ice cream.  Soy is also added as a source of protein and fiber to the "healthier" prepared food choices, such as, say, oatmeal.  I'm an adequate (read: not talented) cook and perfectly capable of feeding myself, but my sweet tooth refuses to be satisfied by brown rice and vegetables.  Coming up empty-handed after searching my kitchen high and low (and there are some really inaccessible cupboards in which we store our baking ingredients) is immensely disheartening.  I work full-time and tutor kids afterward, husband is in school four days a week in addition to his full-time job -- we just don't have time to cook a full meal from scratch every damn day.  I'm hoping the allergy tests (waiting for them to call me back so I can schedule an appointment for a skin prick panel) will identify something specific -- I guess some people are allergic to soy protein but not to soybean oil?

I'm especially ornery about this because I'm spoiled: I'm generally remarkably healthy.  I recognize that itchiness and pain after eating are somewhat first-world problems.  But I'm a fucking vegetarian with a moderate lifestyle who really tries to take care of herself, and was recently (also!) found to have familial high cholesterol.  I was advised to give up red meat (haven't had any in 15 years) and nuts (can't eat them -- I'm allergic).  So that's a fail.

I know this blog doesn't have a following, but if you're here because of a relevant search and have any experience/advice, I'd love to read it in the comments.

Oh, yeah -- the title of this entry comes from the remarkable ability of my anatomy to make rocks: in addition to these alleged gallstones, I also make piles and piles of kidney stones (even though my doctor assures me that there's no correlation between gallstones and kidney stones).  Clearly I could have been a contender in geology.